Invitations and guest management

The guest list comes first

Before choosing invitations, build the guest list. It is not just a contact list; it sets the venue's guaranteed headcount, catering, the number of invitations to print and the quantity of return gifts. If the list is late, you end up guessing the number you give the venue, and the gap comes straight back as cost. So draft a rough list when you start looking at venues and refine it as the day approaches. In Korea it is common for the couple and each set of parents to make separate lists and then merge them.

How to build the list

A list is easier to manage when split into groups. Within each group, mark who must be invited, who would be nice to invite and who will simply be told the news; that gives you a basis for adjusting numbers. Parents' acquaintances often turn out to be more numerous than expected, so ask both sets of parents about their invitation range early. Add columns not only for name and contact but for how the invitation will be delivered, attendance, and gifts and thanks, and you can keep using the same table right through to sending thank-you messages.

• Family and relatives
• Parents' acquaintances
• Colleagues and business contacts
• School and long-time friends
• Clubs and groups

Paper and mobile invitations

These days many couples use both paper and mobile invitations. Paper lets you deliver the invitation formally, which suits elders and close friends; mobile invitations are convenient because guests can open a map and transport directions right away. Decide the mix according to who is on your list. Paper invitations take time to print and deliver, so order with room to spare, and when the proof arrives have several people check the date, time, place and every character of each name. Once printed, mistakes are hard to fix.

What the invitation must include

The invitation must contain everything guests need to get to the wedding. More important than the greeting or design are the exact date, time and place. Check that the weekday matches the date, that the specific hall inside the venue is named, and that parking and transport directions are adequate. Whether to include a bank account for gift money in a mobile invitation divides opinion in Korea, so decide it together with your families.

• Date, weekday and time
• Venue name, hall name and address
• Parking and public transport directions
• Names of the couple and their parents
• Day-of details such as the dining area

When and how to deliver

Give invitations early enough that guests can keep the day free. Many couples start about one to two months before the wedding, and telling guests who travel far or elders a little earlier is considerate. With close people, it is considered polite to deliver in person, or to call first and then send the invitation. Sending only an invitation out of the blue to someone you have not contacted in years can feel like pressure, so add at least a short personal greeting. Posting to a group chat all at once is convenient but can seem careless to some people.

Estimating attendance

When the deadline for the venue's final headcount arrives, you need an estimate of who will actually come. Not everyone who receives an invitation attends, and some bring a companion. Record attendance on the list and flag the uncertain ones, and you can work out a likely range. If your mobile invitation lets guests reply with attendance, use it. Judge early whether you are likely to exceed the guarantee or fall well short, and discuss it with the venue.

Guiding guests on the day

On the day, the couple cannot look after each guest personally, so arrange in advance who will receive gift envelopes, hand out meal tickets and guide guests. Receiving gifts involves cash, so have at least two trusted people do it together and explain beforehand how to organise the envelopes and guest book. If guests are coming from far away or elders have difficulty moving, assigning someone to look after them is reassuring. Thank everyone who helped separately after the wedding.

Common mistakes and cautions

The most common mistake is finalising the list so late that the guaranteed headcount is a guess. Another is letting only one person check the invitation proof, so it goes to print with a typo in the date or a name. The list also holds many people's names and contacts, so be careful when sharing it. If it is a shared document, limit access to those who truly need it, and clear out information you no longer need after the wedding. For people you could not invite, sharing the news separately later helps avoid hurt feelings.